life

Plato once said that for as long as we live, we are all students. while times have changed considerably since the days of plato, the fact is that we constantly learn is still true. time is ever changing, and with it, so is life. every day is a new day, one that is very different from the previous and from what awaits the dawn of newer days to come.

the last few days have been filled with revelations for me. they gave me the opportunity to step back and evaluate my own life and how blessed i truly am. i flashed back to all the arguments i had had with my parents, relatives, friends and peers, and i thought of the effect they had on me. most times, i remember cursing my life and all that it put me through.

and then came the last few days. people closest to me revealed things to me for the first time, each of them harboring and bearing tremendous secrets, living through them each day with nothing but a smile on their faces. while i am not going to describe here my life lessons, i can say this. i am looking at life from a completely new perspective now! and i am all the more greatful for it.

when you feel the door is shut, start looking for the window

Last year, for as long as i can remember, which is perhaps a better part of the year… i kept complaining. i went through certain situations that i could have easily avoided, but instead chose to dwell over. therefore, i was in a perpetual rutt. and the entire time it was about ‘me.. me.. me.. me.. me.. me.. mee’. yes, our human mind is like that. we do tend to think about ourselves quite a bit. but then there is a line, which we usually tend to cross in these situations. after a point, people around us tend to get agitated.why? our problems are simple and the solutions are right in front of our eyes. we just chose not to see them, therefore not act upon them. just like us the rest of the world can see those solutions as well and they want you to do something about it.

another hilarious fact is that, when you are down, you complain. you write it down for keepsake or to release your angst. i did that. and now, when everything is back to normal again in my life and i look back on last year, i cant help but laugh at the fool i made myself out to be, fretting over things worth neither the time nor the energy.  i can find so many solutions to the problems i claimed to have. and the irony> now that i am over the situation, even though it took me a long time to compose myself, when i look at those around me go through similar instances, i cant help but think, ‘why cant they see that the solution is right in front of their eyes?’

rambling thoughts

i keep mentioning repeatedly that i cant figure out what to write. it just made me realise i have no purpose in life, no interest. im just going in circle. as i was clearing out my mail, i found some rambling thoughts i had saved in my drafts. it is actually a conversation i had with a friend of mine. this was a long time ago. in those days, i used to write a lot. then again, i was more insightful then. i seem to have become too shallow now.

anyways, i was just reading that conversation and i realised how true it stands. it isnt about something new. it is a topic we discuss every single day and the statements seem pretty contradictory. that is because it is a conversation. but in its entirety, the piece is brilliant. its like literature – poetry and depth oozing out from every corner. i dont say that just because i have a hand it creating it. i just feel it to be true. sometimes, the most nonsensical ramblings end up making much, much more sense. take a look:

the term gf n bf once had sacred meaning! 

u have just reduced it to a fling..

 so, don’t call them girlfriends.

 they’re nothin bt affairs and flings…

somethings that just lasts longer than most ones!! 

it doesn’t mean you are going to marry someone just because you are committed to them

 any realist will tell you that there is no such thing as true love, the way Shakespeare mentioned it…

times change, people change…

its the natural order and course of life…

so while at one point in time you are committed and in love with someone, doesn’t mean that it will last a life time..

no…

love has nothing to do with age.. anyone who says it is completely mistaken…

my mother, till date, has never won an argument about love with me, mind you..

when someone who is older and experienced tells you that you are not old enough to know what love is, do u never feel like turning around and asking them if they know what it means??

life, age and experience prepare us for the natural order of things… things that are definite and foreseeable…

love, how many ever times it happens, is a new experience all over again…

lack of commitment is just a phobia that spurts from the lack of self confidence..

it has nothing to do with anything else..

u say you have fallen in luv sometime…

and yo 17…

age has nothing to do with love..

what it has to do with is maturity.. to handle the situation you are in…

and maturity isnt something age can teach you.. its experience, which again has nothing to do with age!!

who are you to decide what is the age to be anything…

the very mistake lies in affiliating psychological concepts to quantitative measures…

that leads to us following on the already treaded path..

you need to be the judge of what you want for you life void of all societal constraints and what everyone says and how you are conditioned to think..

have u ever heard the saying, ‘anyone can be a player, it takes a real man to make a commitment??’

a lot of people commented saying that women just say that to make themselves feel better about broken relationships…

but the fact remains that most men fear relationships…

at the end of the day, how a guy always wants a virgin bride or a homely girl for a wife is exactly gals want a serious guy… someone who will be their staunch supporter through thick and thin…

except, when you prefer to portray yourself as a player, you don’t give anyone the confidence to believe that they are getting into something serious!!

such a girl is always smart, self confident and the kind not to take any shit from others, that is the only kind of girl that a guy never gets tired off… but to get her, you have to prove your worth…

and mind u, once an impression is made, its near impossible to change it!!

(it has a very abrupt ending… so i can not stay any comments.. i’d much rather leave it up to you.. the person who read this!!)

all the things i am thankful for

this piece is nowhere close to an original, or a remix of an original.. it is a downright copy (cant call it plagerism since i will be citing the source) but it is one thing i can not share with the world… its so true! all the things we take granted for are the things we should and do cherish the most in life, for without them we would be nothing and nowhere… this post goes something like this:

i am thankfull to all things in our life ….[Fwd: Rajesh Kuchan]

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT’S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER

WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

http://www.forwardedemails.com/3879-i-am-thankfull-to-all-things-in-our-life-fwd-rajesh-kuchan

that day we met… :)

i met a young lady several years ago. i walked into what seemed like a party, with my new found friend. i stared from face to face, not quite understanding what they were saying. all i could remember thinking was that they looked like martians, making faces and funny noises.

suddenly, i could no longer find my friend. as i looked around for her, o saw another face – that of a pretty young lady. she seemed to be asleep, despite all the noise. she simply wouldnt wake up. i continued to stare at her. after awhile my friend reappeared and it was time for me to leave. but, the image of the young woman rarely left my mind.

it was a long time before i saw her again. although it was only three weeks, to me, it seemed like an eternity. and then, three weeks later, i spotted her across the hall. she was awake, aware and smiling. before i could realise it i was taken towards her , and immediately in her arms. i never wanted to leave. and guess what? i didnt have to. i was going home with her – she was now mine and i hers! i had never been happier.

and today, so many years later, i still feel the same thing i did back then – i am still mermerised by her – i could stare at her all day.

yes, we have had many a good times together since then.we have smiled together and laughed. that doesnt mean we dont fight – its like any other relationship. but when we are apart and she is all i want, all i have to do is call her and say, “MOMMY, i need you!”

how i performed!!

i know i have been slacking around a lot lately. there is no point in excusing myself for it, because i procrastinated. that, and i couldn’t quite think of something to write about. i was talking to this friend of mine just now and i said something to her which instigated a very interesting thought, and i thought i must share it – ‘half the reason we tend to perform well is because we live in fear of being ridiculed by those people who have certain expectations of us, if we fail to live up to their expectations.’

i thought about every exam i have written. just as the results are about to be announced, i feel a huge rock dropping further down into the pit of my stomach, growing heavier and heavier. and i start to think, why this feeling? why now? why not before? why not for all this time?

now the answer hit me – on my own, i don’t really care about how i have done my exams. at the end of the day, my results are just a bunch of numbers and just a group of letters. but the first thing that enters my head is what will my mother say about my marks? will she be happy? will she be upset? disappointed? will she yell? just as i seem to tide over than thought, i have friends coming up to me and instead of asking my my results, they presumptuously put me into the highest ranking category of scores, even when i might not have done well. false image – that’s the only thing i can think of. but i didn’t create it. it just came about into existence. but i still revel in the glory of that pleasure and it puts added pressure on me, not so much to perform better, but to worry about what other people think of me.

so sometimes, even if for only a day, i want to be in the shoes of those who neither care how well they perform nor care about what other people think of it. even if that means i score less, it will take the pressure of expectations off me, because, otherwise, the better i do, the more pressure i have of pleasing people and living up to their expectations!

and to think, all this while, i still never really cared about how i performed!!

always the other, never us!

she stood quietly as she saw the dainty figure lay on the bed before her, tears of sorrow, angst and disbelief streaming across faces all around her. “He is doing fine. he will be back to normal in no time,” she found herself telling her friend. a smile appeared across her face, content that she had sympathized. “Take care of yourself. i will see you later,” she finally said as she walked across the hall and out the front door.

as she walked down the street to her own house, thoughts ran across her head. ‘How sad it is that this had to happen. but it is ok. they will be fine. he will recover.’ then she thought of all the tales she had been told, tales of misery from all across the world, of people she knew and of those she did not. there is sorrow in the world but never our own. sadness can never touch us. it was never meant for us.

and then, as she got closer and closer, a solemness spread across the air, a sharp pain shot across her body, piercing through her every vein. she slowly started to sprint, only to stop at the gate of her own house. people are pouring out the door like you would see on the buses in rural india.

she stopped to catch her breath but the tightness in her chest would not let her breathe. as she gasped for air, she felt a tight clasp around her wrists and as if a giant supernatural force lifted her off the ground and ran with her across the garden and in through the door.

and there she saw him, lying across the bed, white and pale, lifeless… tired and frail… tubes attached all over, monitors beeping around. she couldn’t imagine that it was him. young and fit, playing and smiling, always the life of the party…

her mother approached her, looking just as frail, “Honey, daddy had a heart attack. But he is going to be ok!” and it hit her………

the best birthday ever

seems like even before i can  start my resolution, i have managed to break it!! there is no excuse to that. i cant apologise for it either, because it will just seem terribly fake. i spent the whole weekend trying to let that happy feeling sink in. if anyone at all has read my blog before, rather in the last 5 days, you will know that saturday was my 20th birthday. no, i am not mentioning it because im fishing for wishes. but what i thought would be the worst birthday ever, ended up being the best!

every year.. even months before my birthday is anywhere near, i am completely hyper! birthdays have always been a special affair for me, a time when i get thoroughly pampered by all the people in my world. but this last year however has been very different for me. i went through a rough patch when i was questioning a lot of things, including who my friends are and if i indeed have any friends.

even on my birthday this year, it didnt feel to me like anything was different. it was the same as any other day. except people were a lot more excited when they spoke to me. and, whenever i heard anyone say ‘happy birthday’, i would automatically say a thank you! im still not sure whether i actually meant it, because after a point i got so used to saying it, it seemed instantaneous.

there were certain issues that took place on the day, nothing directly concerning me, but it had a lot to do with someone i love a lot! i was more concerned about that than anything else. i went out with this person for lunch, several of my friends joined us after that! we finished our lunch and proceeded to meet yet a few more friends. we went into one of our favourite hangout places and while i was immersed in watching the match, a deliciously rich chocolate dutch truffle cake came out of its packing and found place in front of me. we cut up this huge chunk of heaven and stuffed our faces, occasionally giving my face a special spa treatment.

and then, the most wonderful thing happened. a stream of gifts started pouring onto my lap – a handmade card, personalised for me, a box of delicious handmade chocolates, and specially chosen for me! it felt amazing! i had to get home soon, though. it is customary in my family to pay a visit to the temple on birthdays and anniversaries.  my friend offered to drop me home, but on the way we took a little detour to mamma mia – and had the most amazing sundaes ever.

i expected these few hours to be the highlight of my day. i was ecstatic with the way the day had already panned out. i believed that after  the temple i would be going out for a quiet dinner with my parents. we were supposed to just get back home for a minute to freshen up a little. of course, we were also supposed to decide on where we are heading for dinner. i share a very cordial relationship with my parents, and we are always joking around. in the process of doing this once again, i was handed the key and i unconsciously opened the door. continually talking, my hand reached for the switch to put on the light, when out of nowhere, from the depths of the darkness, i hear a chorus of ‘SURPRISE’… i was shocked and taken aback, i screamed. and then i saw about 30 of the closest people to my heart advancing towards me, warm smiles on their faces and genuine joy in their eyes, their mouths forming shapes which seemed to form the words ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’. i was so touched, i had to hold back the tears in my eyes.

as i maneuvered my way through the crowd accepting the wishes, i saw three familiar heads, floating through at the back of the crowd – i have seen these faces. three of my closest friends, whom i had seen just a few hours ago, stood before me with wide and naughty smiles on their faces. i was speechless. it was the best birthday EVER!!

virtual nature

i stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself. millions of thoughts were racing inside my head, and a very wierd connection was formed. i am in between my exams and i have french tomorrow. there are certain portions that i am edgy about because i dont believe i am very clear on them, so i made a mental note that i need to google those parts and perhaps try to learn them.

and then i thought of all the times i go on google or wikipedia to get some information on things and people around. from a cricketer to a actor, the holocaust to the nuclear disaster in japan i google. newspapers and newschannels just dont seem to do it for me anymore. it sometimes feels like i spend more time on the internet than i do breathing. but that is a reality with many people of my generation. we are just too dependent on the internet.

and then, a very funny, but apt comparison came to mind. if you actually think about it, the internet itself is the ‘nature’ of the virtual world. by nature i mean out natural environment, the purest creation of god, some would say, which we human beings exploit, claiming our superiority over it.

perhaps a slight difference is that some HUMAN being or beings actually created the internet. but in essence, the whole world uses it today. we take so much from the internet – information, videos, music, pictures. it also keeps us occupied most of the times, be it in the for of facebook or twitter or some site that gives us free online games. and it turn, we give it what? if you actually think about it, nothing at all. not in the direct sense of the word anyways. any site charging the smallest amount of money to register gets from us such scowls and abuses – ‘they are fleecing us’, ‘what s the point’, are some criticisms we make.

not to mention that we believe that we practically own the internet, that it is something always resting in our pockets, waiting to be used by the brilliant minds that created it, but are now so dependent on it. isnt it how we behave with god created nature as well? someone created nature, and that someone we call god. with the advent and evolution of technology, we consider ourselves no less than god, having found a manner to conquer all odds. we are still highly dependent on nature to give us food, shelter, air and water… and yet we behave like we own it.

the world has come back to a full circle. we have tried to conquer nature and set our command over it. but the internet proves one thing – there are certain things we cannot do without, and no matter what we create, we always come back to square one!!

birthday resolution

a couple of days ago, i joined ‘postaday2011′ and i doubt i have blogged about anything since then. it is so typical of me. i get completely excited and caught up in doing something that million ideas flow through my head, but when it comes to actually doing it, god alone knows what happens – i do the work, but only when my arse is on fire. i do have my excuses for not blogging – i fell sick and had high fever and now i have exams going on. but these do not seem like good enough reasons. its all they are, reasons and excuses, if you really look at it. because at the end of the day, they are experiences and experiences give us a lot to learn as well as a ot to think about which inevitably means a lot to write about.

in about 4 days my birthday comes and i turn a year older. every year i feel no different on turning a year older than i feel on any other day. i am just caught up in the whole experience of it being my birthday. but, i have a lot to be thankful for this. it has really taught me a lot and i know that come saturday, when i turn 20, i know for a fact that i am different than i was a year ago on the very day.

turning 20 is a big thing. if u go by psychological boundaries, i am stepping out of the period of adolescence and into that of young adulthood and this time i am going to make it count. being older means having more responsibilities. so this year, i am making the resolution of keeping this commitment that i have made, and come what may, i will blog everyday. today is the 22nd of march and i will try to keep this commitment from today, but now i am setting a deadline for myself, just like julie powell did in ‘julie and julia’ except that she kept before her the task of finishing recipes and for me, it is the task of 365 blog posts in 365 days starting from 26th march 2011 and ending on 25th march 2012.